Key Takeaways

Have a growth mindset when things might not be going your way or if you're having a setback. Here are some things you can do in these moments.

1. Take a deep breath and reset yourself. Take time to reflect on your reactions to unexpected changes or failures. Identify any negative self-talk or limiting beliefs you may have about yourself, and challenge them with positive affirmations.
2. Focus on the goal and embrace challenges : Instead of avoiding challenges or difficult tasks, embrace them as opportunities for growth. Challenge yourself to try new things, take on new responsibilities, and step outside of your comfort zone.
3. Seek feedback : Ask for feedback from trusted colleagues or mentors, and use it to improve your skills and performance. Be open to constructive criticism and use it as an opportunity to learn and grow.
4. Cultivate a positive attitude : Maintain a positive attitude even in the face of adversity. Focus on the opportunities and possibilities that come with change, rather than dwelling on the negatives.
5. Practice gratitude : Take time each day to reflect on the things you're grateful for. This can help shift your focus away from negative thoughts and cultivate a more positive mindset.

The Problem

Recently, I embarked on a journey to upstate New York via Amtrak, with a pit stop in New Jersey, to pick up a rental car. It seemed like a savvy plan to break up what would have been an exhausting 5-hour drive into a 3-hour train ride plus only a 2-hour drive. The train ride was smooth and productive - completing a few work calls and cleaning my email. I arrived on time at Newark Airport Amtrak Station, and took a beautiful, sunny day shuttle ride to the car rental lot. I headed straight to the National Car Rental, and associates greeted me with a smile and casually directed me to pick up any car from Emerald Aisle and have my driver's license and reservation info ready at the checkout gate. I was in a great mood and cheerfully selected a Toyota Corolla, where I dumped my bags and started getting settled into driving mode. But things took a turn when I was sitting in the car rental looking for my driver's license and quickly became mortified that I had just realized I had forgotten my wallet. An immediate rush of panic and shame washed over me when I sat in the car that I could not drive off. Although my initial impulse was to quit and go home, I knew I had to keep calm, think through the possibilities, and find the best solution.

Troubleshoot Solutions
I went to the rental car counter to see what options were available for someone who had forgotten their driver's license. They informed me they would accept a temporary driver's license obtained online, but they still require a physical photo ID (such as a passport). Unfortunately, I didn't have any form of ID on me, and I felt overwhelmed and frustrated with myself for forgetting something so important. I again immediately thought to give up and take the next train back to DC, but I took a moment to breathe and work through my emotions.

That's when I decided to phone a friend to help me talk this through. I called my cousin who is a great problem-solver and lives in Brooklyn, less than an hour away from my current location. We explored a few possible solutions, including heading to NYC to rent a car with her, taking public transportation, or Ubering the rest of the way. After weighing my options, I decided to Uber since it costs about the same as the rental car, and I love being driven around. The other two options seemed excessive and didn't make much sense cause the amount of time and energy it would take. 

With luck on my side and the universe providing me with a way forward, my first Uber driver connection accepted the ride and arrived within four minutes. I had anticipated some wait time since drivers would likely accept and then immediately cancel when they saw I was trying to go 2 hours away to another state during Friday's 5 o'clock rush hour. It felt like a miracle and truly meant to be. Despite the initial setback and feeling defeated and wanting to go home ashamed, I sat in stillness and calmly remained open to the possibility of attending the mediation retreat. 

Moving Forward

After going through this experience, I learned the value of taking a deep breath, seeking advice from a trusted friend, and pushing through obstacles to arrive at a solution. It's not the end of the world if things don't go as planned, and there are often different possibilities to achieve a goal. I take responsibility for forgetting my wallet and recognize that I need to organize my important items better when I leave the house. I can still proceed without self-punishment by beating the urge to take shortcuts or give up. In moments of stress, we have the choice to tap into our imagination and curiosity to see where the universe might be conspiring in our favor. We just need to get out of our own way.